This Time It's Personal

What Grinds My Gears: Left Handers Day

Warning: Posts in this segment may contain language that is inappropriate and/or offensive to some readers.

geahs3Welcome to a part of my blog that I like to call “What Grinds My Gears”. I stole this idea from an episode of “Family Guy” where Peter Griffin has a segment on the local news and he says: “You know what really grinds my geeeaaahs?” Then he talks about something that annoys him.

This is MY segment on what really grinds my gears. As nice of a person as I try to be, there are a lot of things that grind my gears. So I should never run out of topics for this segment. 🙂

So… You know what really grinds my gears? Left Handers Day. August 13th is “World Left Handers Day” and I know that I don’t speak for all of my fellow lefties when I say this but… We don’t need a fucking day!

In the past few years there have been hundreds of these made up internet holidays cropping up everywhere. They’re silly, but they can be fun and I’m not condemning them. These special made-up “holidays” give people opportunity to express their likes for certain things they enjoy such as Jellybeans, Lipstick, Cats, Margaritas or whatever… which is nice. But Left Handers Day is different somehow… it’s like they’re calling us freaks. Left handers make up only 10% of the population so we’re a minority, but so what? As part the 10% I feel that we’re being singled out by being given “a day”.

Left handedness is not an illness that people need to be made aware of. It’s not an affliction. It doesn’t need a cure. To have a day for a simple physical attribute such as being left handed is more like an “awareness” day for a disease. There’s nothing that needs to be done about being left handed. This is not the 1930’s when they’d tie your hand behind your back and force you to write with your right hand. This is not Salem, MA in the 1600’s when you’d be burned at the stake if you were left handed because they thought you were consorting with The Devil. And we’re even past the trends of the 1990’s and Y2K era which tried to convince us that we needed to purchase a left handed can opener or a left handed mouse for our computers.

When I was a little girl in school, they tried to make me use the left handed scissors. Well guess what? I already knew how to use a regular fucking scissors with my right hand, and the lefty one just screwed me up. But still. I was left handed. So some of the teachers insisted that I needed the left hander’s scissors. (I’d always ditch it when they weren’t looking and grab a regular one.)

When the left hander’s mouse came out for desktop computers, I was already doing perfectly fine with a regular mouse that I learned to use with my right hand from day one. And how about cars? Let’s see…. what car has the ignition on the left-hand side? A Porche! Well, gee, I can’t afford one. So it’s a good thing that when I learned to drive, I learned to start the car on the right hand side like most non-wealthy people.

Some guitarists play left handed, such as the legendary Jimi Hendrix and the late but great Kurt Cobain. Maybe that was a choice and if given a choice, we naturally pick up whatever it is with the dominant hand. Still, left handers are notorious for adapting. For example, Ritchie Valens played guitar right handed even though he was naturally a lefty.

If people tell us we can’t do a certain thing because we’re left handed, it’s bullshit. I’ve been told many things like I can’t play a certain sport or instrument. When my friend Tiffany’s family got a pool table, Tiffany wouldn’t let me play. She said “You’re left handed. You can’t play pool.” She wouldn’t even let me try. Years later, I began going to a local pool hall and while I was never very good, I could still play!

Then there were all the times I was told I couldn’t needlepoint, knit or crochet. The irony of that is I had an aunt who was a master at all three and also left handed. She had to adapt all the patterns and things to the opposite side, but she did it!

So we really don’t need a day. We’re not disabled and we’re not special either. (I  saw a t-shirt that said “I’m Left Handed. What’s Your Superpower?” I didn’t buy it.)

We’re just regular folks who do shit with our left hands. That’s it.

 

lefty

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“What Grinds My Gears” is a division of “This Time It’s Personal” and will not be re-posted.


gears and left hand graphics from clipart-library.com