This Time It's Personal

What Grinds My Gears: Oversensitive Fans

Warning: Language

First of all I don’t like the word “fan”. I’m nobody’s “fan”. It’s a stupid concept. Being part of a Fandom is something for youngsters who need to express themselves by obsessing over someone or something. I outgrew that years ago! I’m not into worshiping other human beings. I’m more into believing that everyone is created equal, and some people are exceptionally talented, but that doesn’t make them God.

That said, there are artists that I love and appreciate, and for lack of a better word, you could say I’m their “fan”. The best way I can describe it, is to say I’m not a typical fan.

On Twitter, people talk about their favorite music, and it’s fun to a point, until one day someone takes offense to something completely ridiculous. I’m sorry if they find my statements offensive. I bend over backwards trying not to insult people. Even in my jokes, I try not to insult people. I guess there really are people out there who can’t take any kind of even remotely negative comment. It’s just baffling to me. Because honestly, I don’t see how anything about a celebrity can be offensive when we don’t have any kind of personal connection with them. It’s one thing to be insulted when someone says shit about a friend or family member but to get upset over something about a damn celebrity, that’s nuts, sorry but really. There are other things in life to worry about!

So as everyone knows, I’m a “fan” of Buddy Holly’s or as some people (including myself) might say a “terrible fan” of Buddy Holly’s. I don’t dedicate my entire life to him, I don’t even know his full discography and I’ve never even been to Clear Lake. But all I can say is that he was very talented, very special, unique and creative, had an amazing stage presence and he was incredibly attractive. That’s all I can say from the point of view of the person that I happen to be. He lived and died a very, very, very long time ago way, way before my time, and it’s hard to even imagine what he would’ve been like due to the massive time warp… but sometimes I find myself wondering. I mean, I don’t know why, I just do.

So in my God-Knows-Why quest to find out more about Buddy Holly’s actual personality, I was about to listen to the phone conversation between he and Paul Cohen in January of 1957. However, it is inaccessible to us in the United States because of Copyright issues. I’m used to that, so fine. I was just simply wondering if he (Buddy) was polite or rude to Mr. Cohen when he asked him for the rights back to his Decca recordings. I mean, just wondering. Not to insinuate that Buddy didn’t have the proper kind of manners because I’m not insinuating shit. I’m just asking. How can I know, you know? I wasn’t there.

So then I Tweeted something out of Left Field. It had NOTHING to do with the Paul Cohen conversation (which I never even heard!), it was just something that was on my mind. Like I said, it was out of Left Field which is basically in a way the nature of Twitter anyhow. People say what’s randomly on their minds. What I said was: “(If I’d known him) I don’t think Buddy Holly and I would have gotten along.” After I said that, (which was NOT meant to be insulting, but inevitably taken the wrong way none-the-less) I noticed that a couple of “friends” of mine were offended and stopped following me because of that tweet. I furthered up what I said up with: “When I said (Buddy Holly and I) would not have gotten along, I meant because we are so different, which is what I admire about him.”

Now it probably looks like I just said that to kiss ass, but that’s the truth! He was confident, bold, talented, successful… all the things I’m not. We wouldn’t have gotten along on many levels, if at all. I’m the polar opposite of the kind of person he liked and respected. That’s doesn’t make him bad, it doesn’t make me bad. It just means we’re different. That’s it.

Does that mean I don’t like him as a person, I have no idea! I didn’t know him! I just don’t think we’d be compatible due to the evidence I’ve seen in our personality traits. THAT’S IT.

So, how can that purely hypothetical statement be offensive to his fans?

The answer is in this title. “OVERSENSITIVE FANS”. In their eyes, I insulted him. How? Is it because I said he and I didn’t/don’t happen to have the same personality required for two people to get along? I clearly admire him, so if I’m insulting anyone, I’m insulting MYSELF, not Buddy Holly. And what does it matter anyway? How obsessed do you need to be get offended by a purely hypothetical statement like that?

It upsets me that someone who I considered an online friend deleted me over that. Over a stupid statement which was not even meant as an insult. When it’s clear as fuck that I like Buddy Holly as much as you can like any star. After all, why would I even be thinking about whether I got along with him or not, if I didn’t like him on some level?

Overly sensitive fans are all basically 14 years old, no matter what their actual age is. They take offense to non-offensive statements, hate anyone who doesn’t like the same stars they like and delete people who they feel “aren’t worthy” of their Fandom. It’s all childish, high school bullshit and I hate it.

My feelings towards Buddy Holly or any other star are not going to conform to a certain parameter. They’re not going to fit into a box which is based on a checklist of rules. They just aren’t. I’m my own person and I don’t follow rules based on what I’m “supposed” to feel like. I have my own story, my own timeline. What Buddy Holly means or doesn’t mean to me is mine and mine alone. It’s a series of experiences and complexities that no one else could even understand. And while I have the utmost respect for the amazing talent he was, (it’s almost impossible for me to talk about him without using the word “love”) I can’t really promise anything beyond that.

Bottom Line: I don’t join Fan Clubs for a reason.

Social Media is a double-edged sword. You can make friends and lose them just as easily. Being friends with someone online can end the moment you don’t meet up to a list of shallow requirements. I just know I’m not here to prove anything to anyone.


Record graphic from clip-art library